Soundtrack: TLC “No Scrubs”

I’m a person who can’t help but to see the world as a series of patterns. If you read the description of my personality type (INTJ over everybody) it says something like “they are logical, critical and reliable, but also creative, imaginative and innovative. This provides excellent pattern recognition abilities to enable long-range planning, trend analysis and system building capability.” Yada, yada, yada. The point is that sometimes I’m just minding my business, looking out the window or something, and then my whole lifetime of experiences and relationships collapses into one big realization that smacks me upside my head and I sit there mind-blown and awestruck for a while. How ya luv that run-on sentence?

So that’s what happened a couple of weeks ago. I don’t remember what led up to it but everything that I’m about to write hit me at the same time while I was on my way to do some work in Central Texas.

There are some really clear differences in the feminine or masculine energy of women and men who are financially secure versus those who are not financially secure. Now before I get into the meat of my explanation, let me first say that financial security is about more than just the amount of money and assets that you have. Security is an internal feeling that only YOU can give YOU; dollars don’t have the inherent power to make you feel secure or insecure. A person with $100 can choose to feel perfectly secure and content, and a person with $1,000,000 can choose to feel like they’re gonna lose it all tomorrow. So for the rest of this post, I’ll use the terms “security” and “insecurity” instead of “financial security” and “broke”.

Now, insecure men are almost universally timid and meek. If you’ve been around insecure men then you’ve seen this. This guy hates his job. He used to have a dream but things didn’t go his way so now he just tries to make it through each day. He has to have some kind of drug to relieve his mind once he gets off work. He accepts being talked down to by his supervisor(s). He refers to his supervisor as his boss. He won’t stop a woman from being abused by her boyfriend or stop a cop from being abusing a teenager or give up his seat for an elderly lady. He can’t stand up for himself or anyone else. Or he doesn’t have any real source of income and he isn’t making any real efforts to create one. He’s accepted that life has gotten the best of him and he’s just trying to do the bare minimum that it takes to not starve or be homeless.

Insecure women are almost universally hard-edged, callous, and abrasive. Reality television has done a superb job in recent years of showing us this kind of woman. She’s perpetually dissatisfied. She’s always one facial expression or one word away from starting an argument. She often speaks loudly and likes loud colors and loud scents. She might say how much she wants help with handling her life but she has a problem with accepting help when it is offered. She’s either always single OR constantly in and out of relationships OR in a relationship with an insecure man and neither of them is happy. She’s sexually frustrated. She either isn’t having sex or she never gets the amount of pleasure during sex that she has heard is possible. She tries to convince herself and other people that she’s independent and she’s got it all under control. She cries. A lot.

Let’s take a minute to talk about yin/yang. Most people have no idea what that is. They have a vague sense of it being some kind of Chinese symbol that has something to do with karate or some shit.

Yin and Yang are traditional Chinese concepts that basically mean feminine and masculine. The yin side has a little bit of yang in it and the yang side has a little bit of yin in it. That’s how human beings are. Women have a masculine side and men have a feminine side; but we are made to basically live our lives in our dominant energy.

Here is a list of characteristics for each one:

Feminine and masculine energy are wonderfully illustrated by the male and female sexual anatomy. The pussy/yoni/vagina at its sexual peak is soft, wet, receptive, and aromatic. The aroused dick is straight (for most guys), protruding, and inflexible. Correspondingly feminine nature is to be soft and going with the flow and receptive and prone to decoration and making things look and smell pretty. Masculine nature tends to be outgoing and assertive, making things happen, and not bending on what you decide you want.

Now how do secure women and men behave?

How are queens portrayed in popular culture? They tend to find a comfortable space and stay there. They allow people and things to come to them; they are receptive to all of the good that life can bring them. They get what they desire through grace and elegance, not by force. They trust that their masculine counterpart(s) will take care of whatever needs to be taken care of. They delight in subtle but beautiful decorations. And studies show that secure women have more orgasms during sex than their insecure counterparts.

Secure men are almost universally assertive. They tend to impose their will on the world around them, either by intimidation or seduction. They are always supremely confident that they will achieve whatever they decide that they desire. Where an insecure man will meet with difficulty and then turn around and walk away, a secure man will find the right person to negotiate with and find a way to make it work. It’s not necessarily an abundance of resources that makes things work for him, it starts with him deciding that he won’t take no for an answer. An insecure man will walk into a swanky establishment and immediately tell everyone with his body language that he doesn’t belong. The secure man will walk into the same establishment like he owns the place. This is masculinity.

How do we make this information useful? The real answer is that that’s a topic for another time. However, it’s helpful to keep in mind that our energy tells our bodies what to do and impacts the way we think. Oftentimes, people feel themselves stuck in a rut because their energy is in poor condition. This is a practical benefit to be gained from seeing an energy healer, especially a Tantra energy healer who specializes in working with your feminine or masculine energy.

More on this to come.