New Afrikan Spirituality

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Soundtrack: Bob Marley – “Africa Unite”

For several reasons, this year has been a time of pretty intense self-reflection for me. One of the main things that I have been reflecting on is my own spirituality. It really dawned on me at the beginning of Black August that I had some cognitive dissonance surrounding my spiritual beliefs; meaning that I had some beliefs which contradicted each other. With me being the philosopher that I am, that was unacceptable for me. On this last day of Black August, I have been inspired to share what I have come up with on the subject of spirituality, as it relates to not just me but to all Afrikans in North America.

Let’s start with the term New Afrikan. The United States style of slavery was the greatest crime against humanity that the world has ever known. For three hundred years, people were brought to this country from all over West and Central Africa, and completely robbed of a knowledge of their history, their language, their families, their gods, and their culture. People from dozens of distinct ethnicities were brought to this place and forged in the furnace of oppression into one new people; a naturally Pan-Afrikan people. That is why we use the term New Afrikan to describe ourselves. It also explains why our spirituality and our culture is naturally, and of necessity, a mixture of practices from across the Afrikan continent. That is the nature of who we are as a people.

But let’s go back to before the Afrikan Holocaust. In the West Africa of the 1500s there was already a mixture of expressions of spirituality. We had not only the various kinds of Afrikan Traditional Religion, but we also had people practicing Christianity and Islam and Judaism or the Hebrew religion. West Afrika was the cultural capital of the whole world at that time in history. The world’s largest university was in Timbuktu. The world’s richest man (and the richest person of all time) was Mansa Musa, ruler of the Mali Empire. People came from all over the world to study and do business with the people of West Afrika. Those visitors also influenced us in various ways, not the least of which was spreading their religions among us. (This is very oversimplified but I don’t have the space to fully explain the inter-cultural dynamics of 14th century West Afrika.)

Even earlier than that, starting about 70,000 years ago, people started leaving our ancestral homeland in Afrika and venturing out to populate the rest of the world. Those Afrikan people went into Asia and Australia and the Pacific Islands and the Americas and eventually formed very new cultures in response to the various kinds of environments that they moved into. But all of them maintained some of the influence of our earliest Afrikan human Ancestors.

So our Ancestors who were brought to North America to be made slaves came from various Afrikan cultures. And they were forced to abandon almost all of their various cultural traits. Give thanks though that some aspects of what makes us Afrikan could never be stamped out, they just live in our souls. Over the course of our sojourn in this land, we’ve also been exposed to people from all over the world.

All of our distant cousins, descended from those adventurous Afrikans who left home tens of thousands of years ago, decided to come to Amerika in the 19th and 20th century to take advantage of some of this land of opportunity that they were told about. And of course, there were those who had already been living in this land for tens of thousands of years before the Europeans came. So this people from all over the Afrikan continent came to America and got introduced to people representing all of the various ways of being human that have been developed on the planet. And we have taken all of those cultural inputs and filtered them through our unique Afrikan soul algorithm to output a new kind of swag that has taken over the cultures of the whole world.

New Afrikan culture, especially our cultural expression called Hip Hop, has become the dominant cultural expression for the youth of literally our whole planet. I believe that is because we are an amalgamation of the whole world, with some one-of-a-kind Afrikan spices put into this melting pot. So we have a vibration or frequency that the entire global population can resonate with.

But let’s remember that we started this American experience by having our cultural roots stolen from us. So we are still in the process of intentionally reconstructing who we are. That especially applies to how we choose to express our spirituality. I believe that we should embrace our various influences in how we reconstruct our spirituality. Let me reiterate my earlier point to make it more clear.

Humanity started in Afrika. For over a million years, the only place where human beings could be found was in Afrika. Afrika is the womb that shaped us as a species. At a certain point, we started venturing out into the rest of the planet and discovering new ways of being human; while we were simultaneously spreading all over Afrika and discovering various ways of being an Afrikan kind of human. After 70,000 years of wandering the Earth, all of the world’s various kinds of cultural expression were finally brought back into one place: in North America, but especially within the hearts and minds of the New Afrikans. The cultural boomerang that started in ancient Afrika went all around the planet and ended up back at the Afrikans living in America. We are the repository of the cultures of all peoples, from all eras, and all parts of the world. It is our privilege and our responsibility to take the best part from all cultural expressions and form them into one seamless, wonderful New Afrikan culture.

And we have already done so.

Many of us have latched onto the primary defining characteristic of Afrikan spirituality which is veneration for the Ancestors. The Afrikan view is that death is only a part of the cycle of life. Those who have died and gone on to the Ancestral realm are several steps closer to the Divine than we are, but they are also connected to us because they live on within us. So our best way of communion with the Divine is to maintain positive relationships with our Ancestors who are very much willing and able to serve as the bridge for us to the power of the Unseen.

There is also a large swath of our culture that has latched onto the traditions of Asia. One of the hallmarks of Asian spirituality is the focus on the breath and the Qi, or the energetic life force that makes us alive.  The people of Eastern Asia have focused on refining this practice for thousands of years. What is called Traditional Chinese Medicine is all about managing one’s energy to optimize health and wellness. New Afrikan people have been undergoing very serious study of these disciplines for many decades and have become some of the world’s greatest practitioners of modalities like meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, and Tantra.

Many people are aware of the very intimate connection between New Afrikans and what are called Native Americans or American Indians. I’m not a fan of either of those terms but I’ll use Native American. The Native Americans practiced a spirituality characterized by a focus on having very healthy relationships; with the Earth, with all living beings, and especially fellow human beings. They had the utmost respect for the plants and animals that they lived around. And the constitution of the Iroquois Confederacy served as the foundation for the United States’ founding documents focusing on liberty and equality of all people. The colonizers didn’t have any direct knowledge of what that looks like from their experience in England but the Native Americans were able to demonstrate what it looks like — which included having a great deal of respect for the wisdom and the power of the women in their society.

And of course, New Afrikans have been influenced in many ways, both good and bad, by the descendants of Europe. Slavery and colonization and genocide aside, the Europeans have one particular aspect of their society that we have benefited from greatly, which is science and technology. The European tendency to never be satisfied with the current state of things and to constantly push for more and new and better, has resulted in the laptop that I am typing this on and the world wide web that I have done so much research with and so many of the other modern comforts of life that we enjoy. Science and technology provides the way out of many of the problems that Afrikans experience, both within the continent and throughout the Diaspora. We have much to learn, and we have learned much, from the Europeans and their dedication to the principles of science.

An authentic New Afrikan spirituality, that embraces all that we naturally are, includes all of the above aspects and more. We should feel no shame about adopting what is viewed as an Asian practice or a Native American practice or a European practice. It is our job to seamlessly blend all of these traditions together in a way that properly respects and honors our uniquely Afrikan heritage while simultaneously embracing the uniqueness of our real life experience here in North America.

As a final thought, the primary guiding principle in how we reconstruct our culture and spirituality must be the liberation of our people from the colonization and oppression that we are currently living under. Any belief or practice which doesn’t help us move toward Self-Determination and national liberation can be discarded because it doesn’t represent the best part of what we have to choose from. We must have the intellectual and spiritual courage to examine all of our beliefs and practices from the perspective of “does this help me and us to become more free or does it make us more dependent on others?,” “does this make me more unified with the rest of my New Afrikan family, or does it make us more divided?”

Building a New Afrikan spirituality which acknowledges all of who we naturally are, while also pushing us toward greater levels of Self-Determination and Liberation, is the privilege and responsibility of our generation.

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The Yin and Yang of Financial Security

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Soundtrack: TLC “No Scrubs”

I’m a person who can’t help but to see the world as a series of patterns. If you read the description of my personality type (INTJ over everybody) it says something like “they are logical, critical and reliable, but also creative, imaginative and innovative. This provides excellent pattern recognition abilities to enable long-range planning, trend analysis and system building capability.” Yada, yada, yada. The point is that sometimes I’m just minding my business, looking out the window or something, and then my whole lifetime of experiences and relationships collapses into one big realization that smacks me upside my head and I sit there mind-blown and awestruck for a while. How ya luv that run-on sentence?

So that’s what happened a couple of weeks ago. I don’t remember what led up to it but everything that I’m about to write hit me at the same time while I was on my way to do some work in Central Texas.

There are some really clear differences in the feminine or masculine energy of women and men who are financially secure versus those who are not financially secure. Now before I get into the meat of my explanation, let me first say that financial security is about more than just the amount of money and assets that you have. Security is an internal feeling that only YOU can give YOU; dollars don’t have the inherent power to make you feel secure or insecure. A person with $100 can choose to feel perfectly secure and content, and a person with $1,000,000 can choose to feel like they’re gonna lose it all tomorrow. So for the rest of this post, I’ll use the terms “security” and “insecurity” instead of “financial security” and “broke”.

Now, insecure men are almost universally timid and meek. If you’ve been around insecure men then you’ve seen this. This guy hates his job. He used to have a dream but things didn’t go his way so now he just tries to make it through each day. He has to have some kind of drug to relieve his mind once he gets off work. He accepts being talked down to by his supervisor(s). He refers to his supervisor as his boss. He won’t stop a woman from being abused by her boyfriend or stop a cop from being abusing a teenager or give up his seat for an elderly lady. He can’t stand up for himself or anyone else. Or he doesn’t have any real source of income and he isn’t making any real efforts to create one. He’s accepted that life has gotten the best of him and he’s just trying to do the bare minimum that it takes to not starve or be homeless.

Insecure women are almost universally hard-edged, callous, and abrasive. Reality television has done a superb job in recent years of showing us this kind of woman. She’s perpetually dissatisfied. She’s always one facial expression or one word away from starting an argument. She often speaks loudly and likes loud colors and loud scents. She might say how much she wants help with handling her life but she has a problem with accepting help when it is offered. She’s either always single OR constantly in and out of relationships OR in a relationship with an insecure man and neither of them is happy. She’s sexually frustrated. She either isn’t having sex or she never gets the amount of pleasure during sex that she has heard is possible. She tries to convince herself and other people that she’s independent and she’s got it all under control. She cries. A lot.

Let’s take a minute to talk about yin/yang. Most people have no idea what that is. They have a vague sense of it being some kind of Chinese symbol that has something to do with karate or some shit.

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Yin and Yang are traditional Chinese concepts that basically mean feminine and masculine. The yin side has a little bit of yang in it and the yang side has a little bit of yin in it. That’s how human beings are. Women have a masculine side and men have a feminine side; but we are made to basically live our lives in our dominant energy.

Here is a list of characteristics for each one:

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Feminine and masculine energy are wonderfully illustrated by the male and female sexual anatomy. The pussy/yoni/vagina at its sexual peak is soft, wet, receptive, and aromatic. The aroused dick is straight (for most guys), protruding, and inflexible. Correspondingly feminine nature is to be soft and going with the flow and receptive and prone to decoration and making things look and smell pretty. Masculine nature tends to be outgoing and assertive, making things happen, and not bending on what you decide you want.

Now how do secure women and men behave?

How are queens portrayed in popular culture? They tend to find a comfortable space and stay there. They allow people and things to come to them; they are receptive to all of the good that life can bring them. They get what they desire through grace and elegance, not by force. They trust that their masculine counterpart(s) will take care of whatever needs to be taken care of. They delight in subtle but beautiful decorations. And studies show that secure women have more orgasms during sex than their insecure counterparts.

Secure men are almost universally assertive. They tend to impose their will on the world around them, either by intimidation or seduction. They are always supremely confident that they will achieve whatever they decide that they desire. Where an insecure man will meet with difficulty and then turn around and walk away, a secure man will find the right person to negotiate with and find a way to make it work. It’s not necessarily an abundance of resources that makes things work for him, it starts with him deciding that he won’t take no for an answer. An insecure man will walk into a swanky establishment and immediately tell everyone with his body language that he doesn’t belong. The secure man will walk into the same establishment like he owns the place. This is masculinity.

How do we make this information useful? The real answer is that that’s a topic for another time. However, it’s helpful to keep in mind that our energy tells our bodies what to do and impacts the way we think. Oftentimes, people feel themselves stuck in a rut because their energy is in poor condition. This is a practical benefit to be gained from seeing an energy healer, especially a Tantra energy healer who specializes in working with your feminine or masculine energy.

More on this to come.

Young, Wild, and Free: Native American Sexuality

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Soundtrack: Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa “Young, Wild, and Free”

In the course of doing my normal nerd routine, reading and shit, I ran across something that piqued my interest. The story of York, the African man held as a slave by William Clark, of the famous Lewis and Clark expedition. The tidbit of information that I ran across was about how York was the first dark skinned Black man that most of the Natives had ever seen in the states of the West along the Missouri River. At first the Natives didn’t believe that his skin was so black. They tried to wipe it off. Once they saw that that wouldn’t work, they were enthralled by him. Word is that he was given his pick of the Native women.

Say what??

I definitely couldn’t just read that and move on with life like it was nothing. I had to look a little deeper into it. What kind of freaky deaky were these Native people on? (I hate the terms “Native American” and “Indian”)

It turns out, that the Native people of this land had some very progressive views on sexuality. It is a bit difficult to speak of the Natives in general because by the time Europeans started invading this hemisphere there were hundreds of different tribes of Natives with separate and distinct cultures. However, there were some commonalities that we can look at.

Generally speaking, the Natives believed that Nature is perfect, just the way it is. What is natural is what is supposed to be. Sex, of course, is a pretty big deal in nature. For people born and raised in Western culture, it is difficult to conceive of a society that had zero shame or guilt around sexuality — any and all kinds of sexuality. But, in fact, the Natives encouraged all people to act on their sexual desires and they recognized sexuality as a great gift from Nature with power to heal, to create, and to bring people together. (Many Native languages didn’t even have a word for “innocence” or “guilt”, meaning they couldn’t even understand the concept of shaming someone for their behavior. Many also didn’t have a word for “prison” or “jail”.)

Another part of the foundation upon which Native sexuality rested was the belief that all people are equal. I’m talking specifically now about the positions of men and women. Native men didn’t have any desire to dominate, control, and subjugate their women. Therefore there was no reason for them to fear female sexuality in the way that other cultures do. So Native women were free to be horny, choose the man who makes her womb jump when she sees him, bring him to the crib, and ride him into Heaven. European “settlers” of the 16th and 17th centuries were outraged when they saw (with their own two eyes) Native women actually being ON TOP during sex. For the Europeans it was a matter of necessity that the man be on top during sex because a woman should never be over a man under any circumstances.

For the Natives, once they reached puberty, it was on and crackin’. Consider these two quotes from different authors about observation of the Huron people from the 1600s:

“The Huron did not place great importance on the difference between married and not married. They encouraged various stages of experimentation and growing commitment.”

“Males had the liberty of giving themselves to evil from their earliest years, while females prostituted themselves as early as they could, and fathers and mothers were panderers for their own daughters.”

Now, among other things, this shows just how stupid white people were 500 years ago. The priests who lived among the Huron in the Great Lakes area (Michigan, Quebec, etc) specifically for the purpose of converting them to Christianity were so wrapped up in their own mythology that they couldn’t fathom the idea of other people just choosing to live in a different way. But check out the content of the words though. Not only were people in their early teens having sex but their parents were actively finding good sexual partners for them. The parents wanted their children to have pleasurable and knowledgeable introductions to the world of sex.

Among the Pawnee people of Nebraska and Kansas, when a boy reached puberty, his mother’s brother’s wife would take charge of him and initiate him into sex. He would continue having sex with her until he married. For a period of four or five years the young man, and perhaps his brothers as well, would be a junior husband for this woman, creating a temporary state of polyandry. Polyandry is when one woman is married to more than one man at a time. There were many other places and ways where polyandry was practiced across North America.

Most Native houses didn’t have bedrooms. They lived in longhouses, which is generally just a long building with no divisions in it. The kitchen and dining room and bedroom is all the same thing. So when mommy and daddy had sex at night, everyone in the house knew exactly what was going on. As a result of that, group masturbation sessions among “tween” age children were common. When their pre-pubescent bodies matured enough to start feeling sexual arousal, they explored their bodies — sometimes in groups of just boys or just girls, and sometimes the boys and girls together. Once they matured to the point of having full use of their sexual organs, the experimentation turned into full sexual encounters, often in the woods, which was the only place to get some privacy.

Sex was seen as a way of strengthening the bonds of friendship between people. It also strengthened the bonds between families. Marriage was seen as more than just a union of husband and wife, it was a union of family and family. For people who placed such high value on sharing, adding a whole new group of people to share with was huge cause for celebration. When Europeans came to live and trade among the Natives in peace, they were confused by the Natives offering them sex. For the Natives this was no more strange than offering food to someone who you wish to be cordial with. Sex brought people together.

Sex was also believed to be a source of great spiritual and healing power. As such, engaging in sex and abstaining from sex were both used in various ways. Abstaining would allow for the power of sexual energy to be stored up and increased, then the energy could be put to use in several ways.

Women would often abstain from sex for the entire time that they were breastfeeding a baby. Motherhood was seen as a sacred duty of women, similar to the sacred duty of men to be soldiers in defense of the community. Abstaining would allow women to channel the power of their sexual energy into raising strong and healthy babies.

For the Huron people, abstinence was usually believed to bring dreams, which were essential to all sacred rituals. Prior to a ball game, the players from each village fasted, abstained from sexual intercourse, and sought dreams that would bring them victory.

Huron shamans also observed periods of sexual abstinence. Like other shamans around the world, these were men AND women who had control over the forces of nature. They obtained their special potency through visions or dreams in which a powerful spirit had revealed itself to them. Such visions required prolonged fasting and the avoidance of sexual intercourse – similar to the period before the ball game. However, these periods of abstinence only lasted for some days or weeks. There was no concept among them of abstaining from sex for life like monks or priests in Western traditions.

Sex played a central role in many healing rituals. In one particular ritual, andacwander, any ill person could call for a number of young people to come and have sexual relations in his or her cabin. Andacwander was described in great detail by Gabriel Sagard, a Recollect (French missionary) who lived among the Huron between 1623 and 1624:

There are assemblies of all the girls in a town at a sick woman’s couch. When the girls are assembled they are all asked, one after another, which of the young men of the town they would like to sleep with them the next night. Each names one, and these are immediately notified by the masters of the ceremony. All come in the evening to sleep with those who have chosen them, in the presence of the sick woman, from one end of the lodge to the other, and they pass the whole night thus, while the two chiefs at the two ends of the house sing and rattle their tortoise shells from evening till the following morning when the ceremony is concluded.

Notice that it was the young women who did the choosing, not the young men.

But Sagard didn’t mention the name of this ceremony. The first one to do so in writing was Jesuit Father Jerome Lalemant, writing in 1639. He wrote of an old man, Taorhenche, who was dying. He wished (through riddles that people had to guess) for a White Dog Ceremony, sufficient cornmeal to feed the people involved in the festivities, other unnamed ceremonies. At the end there was to be:

“The ceremony of the ‘andacwander,’ a mating of men with girls, which is made at the end of the feast. He specified that there should be 12 girls, and a thirteenth for himself.

“The answer being brought to the council, he was furnished immediately with what could be given at once, and this from the liberality and voluntary contributions of individuals who were present there and heard the matter mentioned, – these peoples glorying, on such occasions, in despoiling themselves of the most precious things they have. Afterward, the Captains went through the streets and public places, and through the cabins, announcing in a loud voice the desires of the sick man, and exhorting people to satisfy them promptly.

“They are not content to go on this errand once, – they repeat it three or four times, using such terms and accents that, indeed, one would think that the welfare of the whole country was at stake. Meanwhile, they take care to note the names of the girls and men who present themselves to carry out the principal desire of the sick man; and in the assembly of the feast these are named aloud, after which follow the congratulations of all those present, and the best pieces … then ensue the thanks of the sick man for the health that has been restored to him, professing himself entirely cured by this remedy.”

The name of the ceremony was endakwandet, which literally means “they (many people) are enveloped in sex.” If you wished for the ceremony, you would say “tayendakwandeten” – be enveloped in sex for me.

William Clark wrote of a ceremony called the Buffalo Dance that he witnessed in the winter of 1805 among the Mandan people of North Dakota:

The old men arrange themselves in a circle and after smoke a pipe, which handed them by a young man, dress up for the purpose.   The young men who have their wives back of the circle go to one of the old men with a whining tone and request the old man to take his wife, who presents naked except a robe.   The girl then takes the old man, and leads him to a convenient place for the Business.   We sent a man to this medicine dance last night, they gave him four girls.

This gets to the reason why York was so popular with the Native ladies….

Elders are, of course, associated with wisdom. This Buffalo Dance was an expression of the Native belief that sex can be used to transfer one person’s attributes to another person. When the Natives saw York with his black skin and his muscular body, they believed that he possessed a lot of “medicine” or spiritual power. The men jumped at the opportunity for York to have sex with their wives because the wives could receive York’s medicine and then transfer it to them — just as the old men at the Buffalo Dance could have their wisdom transferred to the young men.

The same kind of stories are told about Estevanico. Estevanico was a young Black man from Morocco who was held as a slave by one of a group of Spaniards who went to explore and crash landed in Florida in 1528. Permanently separated from their support vessels, the group marched up the inner Florida coast and by late summer arrived near the mouth of the Wakulla River in the Florida panhandle. At that time, the surviving Spaniards and at least one African numbered just less than 250 men, the others having died from hurricanes, accidents, or been killed by Natives. They chose to slaughter their horses, build five makeshift barges, and attempt to sail along the Gulf Coast toward Mexico. The five rafts left Florida on September 22. After a month at sea, the raft that Estevanico was in landed on Galveston Island in Texas. By spring 1529, Estevanico and two other men —the only survivors from their craft— had traveled on foot down the Texas coast to the area of Matagorda Bay. They were later captured and held by Coahuiltecan Natives who lived southwest of the Guadalupe River. In fall 1532, the three men were joined in captivity by one sole survivor from a second raft. By early 1535, these four castaways had escaped their captors by fleeing south along the inner coast and entering Mexico near the present-day Falcón Lake Reservoir.

Throughout their travels in both Texas and Mexico, the three Spaniards and Estevanico gained fame and material support as healers. We can see how that worked. These foreign men obviously had many qualities which were different from what the Natives had and therefore they were welcomed to share their medicine by having sex with the women. The Black man was especially well received in that way.

However, Estevanico misunderstood this custom. He didn’t realize that his sexual encounters were offered out of respect and friendship and appreciation for what made him unique. He began to think of himself as a God among the Natives who was welcome to anything that he wanted at any time.  When he was sent back north from Mexico City to lead another expedition in 1539, Estevanico didn’t make very many friends for himself. Traveling ahead of his group as an advance scout, he approached the Zuni pueblo of Hawikuh in western New Mexico where he was killed by numerous arrows fired into his body. Francisco Vazquez de Coronado, upon reaching Hawikuh one year later in 1540, reported back that “Estevanico’s death could be blamed on his cruelties and assaults on Indian women.”

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As we can see, the Natives of this land had a social system that consisted of polyamorous relations and a rather advanced Tantra system. You can see previous posts on this blog if any of those terms confuses you.

In the near future I’m gonna be addressing a continuous theme dealing with how our future will be determined by to what extent we are willing and able to start living by ancient wisdom. These customs of the western hemisphere Natives is a great illustration of this theme.

There are many people today doing think pieces and hosting conferences and symposiums on how to incorporate Tantra and polyamory into your life, and making a lot of money in the process. These Native people just did it. It wasn’t anything deep to them. It was just what made sense given their cultural values and their way of looking at the world. We can all learn from their example.

The basic thing that made it all possible for them was the freedom of their women. The total lack of any efforts to control women or make their natural sexual desires a sin/crime made their whole culture flourish in beautiful ways that modern people can barely fathom.

Me personally, I’m striving everyday to be bout that Indigenous Egalitarian Sex-Positive Sustainable Communal Tantra Poly life.

Nose To The Grindstone, Head To The Stars

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Soundtrack: The Roots “Sacrifice”

In his book, “Tantra: The Supreme Understanding”, Osho talks a lot about awareness. In one of my favorite parts of the book, he gives a solution for people who want to quit smoking. He doesn’t say to get a nicotine patch or some gum or join a support group or none of that. His suggestion on how to quit smoking is to smoke…with awareness. Awareness means being fully conscious of what it is that you’re doing. What is in this cigarette? How much did I pay for this cigarette? What happened right before I decided to spark this cigarette? What happens inside my body as I’m smoking this cigarette? What cumulative effect are all of the cigarettes having inside my body?

If you think about ALL of that, I mean really have it at the front of your mind, every single time you smoke a cigarette, eventually you’ll say to yourself, “THIS SHIT IS STUPID!” And then you’ll stop. Voila! And you won’t have to struggle constantly against relapsing and falling off the wagon. You won’t like cigarettes anymore. You’ll be changed from the inside out because your mind has changed. That’s the power of awareness.

In the past week my awareness has stopped me from doing two things.

A few days ago I bought a bottle of chocolate milk from the store. Milk from good Jersey cows on an organic dairy farm. Not the nasty ass Holstein cows that most farms have where they feed the cows soy and corn and everything other than the grass they would naturally eat. But the point is that as I was buying the bottle, I knew immediately that I couldn’t throw it in the trash when I finished with it. I had to hold onto it until I got to a plastic recycling bin. My conscience wouldn’t allow me to just add another piece of plastic to the landfills that’ll still be sitting there when we’re getting our Jetsons on and commuting from planet to planet. Just couldn’t do it.

Another recent result of my awareness was my development of a new Semen Policy. I won’t bore you with the details of how and why I came up with this policy, at least not in this particular blog post. Suffice it to say that I’ve known for a while that I have magical potion in my balls. I’m not just shooting out useless fluid; I’m providing the Fountain of Youth when I skeet. So my new policy is that from now on, I will only bust directly into a female orifice. Mouth, pussy, or ass. Not in a condom, not on a stomach, not on a towel. If I can’t put it directly into a spot where it can be properly received and put to use, then I’ll keep it to myself (since I’m a Tantra man and I can orgasm without ejaculating). Awareness produces results.

So the real reason why I sat down to write this right now is to share with whoever cares to know that I’m gonna be taking a huge step back away from social media over the next year. We all know that Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are Numbers 1, 2, and 3 on the list of biggest reasons why people procrastinate and argue in 2015. My awareness of what I’m involving myself in is causing me to lose interest in the whole thing really quickly. I feel stupid every time I open my Facebook app.

I’m gonna be making some changes to this website. Making it more user friendly and sharing more of myself. I’ll go on the social media platforms to let people know that I’m posting here and if anyone cares to read my stuff and engage me on it then that would be wonderful, or nah, whatever.

What I won’t be doing is spending hours every week scrolling through a timeline full of shit I couldn’t possibly care less about.

The pictures at the top were taken on September 23, 2015, the autumn equinox, to symbolize this new era in my life. I am stripping away all of the bullshit in my life. All of the distractions. I’m putting 100% of my focus on building my brand, The SOL System, and loving on my biological family and chosen family (friends). Also, I just like being naked. I especially like being naked outside with the sun shining on me. That’s the life.

So, yeah. If you rock with me, then you’ll see what all of this leads to.

My favorite band, The Roots, made one of my favorite songs that serves as the soundtrack for this post. The hook says that if you wanna reach something in life, you ain’t gonna get it unless you give a little bit of sacrifice. And Black Thought raps that he’s got his nose to the grindstone and his head to the stars. That’s me right now.

#TheBlissBook is coming. Pray for me or something, if you’re into that kind of stuff. I need all the support I can get.

P.S. Before I get out of here, I gotta take about the idiom “nose to the grindstone.” What the hell does that shit mean? Well it means to work hard or to focus constantly on work. But why? Yeah, I’m a word nerd.

There are two rival explanations as to the origin of this phrase. One is that it comes from the supposed habit of millers who checked that the stones used for grinding cereal weren’t overheating by putting their nose to the stone in order to smell any burning. The other is that it comes from the practice of knife grinders when sharpening blades to bend over the stone, or even to lie flat on their fronts, with their faces near the grindstone in order to hold the blades against the stone.

All the evidence is against the miller’s tale. Firstly, the stones used by millers were commonly called millstones, not grindstones. The two terms were sometimes interchanged but the distinction between the two was made at least as early as 1400, when this line was printed in Turnament Totenham:

“Ther was gryndulstones in gravy, And mylstones in mawmany.”

The Middle English language there is difficult to interpret but it certainly shows the grindstones and millstones as being distinct from each other. If the derivation was from milling we would expect the phrase to be ‘nose to the millstone’.

A second point in favor of the tool sharpening derivation is that all the early citations refer to holding someone’s nose to the grindstone as a form of punishment. This is more in keeping with the notion of the continuous hard labor implicit in being strapped to one’s bench than it is to the occasional sniffing of ground flour by a miller.

nose to the grindstone

The first known citation is John Frith’s A mirrour or glasse to know thyselfe, 1532:

“This Text holdeth their noses so hard to the grindstone, that it clean disfigureth their faces.”

The phrase appears in print at various dates since the 16th century. It was well-enough known in rural USA in the early 20th century for this picture, which alludes to the ‘holding someone’s nose to the grindstone’ version of the phrase, to have been staged as a joke (circa 1910).

Why All Of Our Self Work Isn’t Working

metucover

A week ago, I posted this on Facebook:
“Recent experiences are teaching me that many of the women who appear to really have it together (successful, comfortable in their own skin, spiritual, confident) are often doing the worst internally.

They have a really thorough facade to cover how thoroughly horrible they feel in their spirit. Pursuing positive appearances at the expense of real inside-out healing.”

This subject has been in the back of my mind ever since. And with that in mind, I witnessed these statements made on Facebook yesterday:
“Sisters, those of us particularly in this work, women’s work – those of us who are actualizing, diligently working on becoming our biggest brightest selves, those of us who love men…I must ask to all of us WTF is going on?”

“Men have gotten greedy and manipulative, even when you support them and accept them they still do what they want.”

“I see more classes for women who want to grow, learn, become greater than they were yesterday, I rarely see classes held for men.”

“Yes, sis! I see us doing our work much more than the men. Things are off balance.”

There is more, but I’ll stop there. In addition I saw this post yesterday from my teacher, Master Yao Morris:

“Using words like ‘vibration’ and ‘goddess’ and ‘inner’ and ‘spiritual’ does not impart instant virtue. On Facebook I am seeing more and more people taking on a mantle of evolution and moral purity, when indeed they show a lack of virtue and an absence of any natural spiritual development. I have had to address this in other groups, as it seems to be an epidemic today. People seem less willing in the last decade to do the actual work of raising their vibration and dismantling their counterfeit persona. More and more it seems okay to just adopt the language, use the symbols, and hijack the title by association. You know someone who is evolved, and you speak the language now, and so POOF, instantly you are high vibration now. Sorry it does not work like that. You have to do the work first. This is dangerous. Now we have an entire sub-group of people running around thinking they have achieved a goal, when they have achieved nothing. For centuries there have been fixed and constant measures for spiritual growth. Using the Tree of Life template or the brain circuit guide, or some equal standard. a human is measured against a fixed group of archetypes. And it is seen by what a man or woman can do. In all cases it shows the complete man template, and asks what percent you have achieved that. 100% being god. I find with social media now we have an entire class of people who have no grounding in this. And more and more, people are just making things up as they go, and all standards are set aside.”

This quote from Master Yao explains the inspiration behind the picture shown above with me holding the book Metu Neter. That book contains a blueprint for changing and developing every aspect of your life. It holds up a mirror for you that you can use to know just how much real development you have done on the spirit/energy level. If you have developed to ___ degree then you’ll know because you’ll be able to do x, y, and z. It doesn’t take a lot of guesswork.

I held the book the way that I did to illustrate that I am here to help you develop spiritually by the power of my sexual energy. Our work is based on the idea that, in your DNA, there is a blueprint for what you will look like, what your potentials are, what your basic life path should be. The vast majority of us, because we live in a very unnatural world, don’t grow up in accord with that natal DNA blueprint. We end up as some version of ourselves other than the person that we were born to be. The Tantra kundalini energy healing that we do is designed to tap into that DNA blueprint and bring it back online, so that your mind and body and spirit start to move back in that direction, and you start to shed anything you’ve been holding onto that doesn’t match the real you. This process involves a combination of healing and enlightenment and pleasure, but the end result is bliss. Bliss and Power. Power to create your life in whatever way you choose to.

It is my life’s work to aid people in stepping into this bliss and power. And it pains me to see people who think they’re moving in that direction but they’re really just spinning on a hamster’s wheel. People like Shantam Nityama and Yao Morris have some very valuable insights to share with the world. I am here as a pupil and representative of the work that they have pioneered.

It is impossible to overstate how important it is that we come to understand ourselves as beings of energy, and the central role that sexual energy plays in our lives. Once we fully embrace our sexual energy then we can start using it to transform ourselves into the highest and best version of ourselves. The Kingdom of Heaven is within you, waiting for you to bring it out. There are many of us who think that we are well on the road to enlightenment and we really haven’t even gotten started yet.

The Toll of Racism on Black Relationships: Adding On

Rakhem_Kenya0149after

Soundtrack: Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway “Where Is The Love”

On January 4, 2015, Rakhem Seku published a post at http://www.jujumamablog.com entitled “The Toll of Racism on Black Relationships”. This edition of Complete Constructive Change is a response to that writing from Rakhem. I was so inspired by his words that I promised myself I would devote an episode of my radio show to shining light on what he wrote. This was a few weeks before my show debuted. He starts his post by saying:

“This post was inspired by a member of our Progressive Love community.  He made various points about how White Supremacy (WS) or White Supremacy Racism (WSR) affects black men’s ability to have successful relationships with black women.  I wanted to address his point (and I have already in our Facebook group), but also make sure I was thorough enough so that all points are considered as well as the metaphysical and the feminine perspectives.  And actually, I prefer the term Institutionalized Racism (IR) over WS or WSR because IR represents a mode of thinking being a part of the culture without people’s awareness of it, which is true for 98% of Americans.  Only a small percentage of people are actually conscious of and capable of implementing a global, systematic campaigned aimed at dividing mass populations of people in the name of WS.  Everyone else is simply subject to this mode of thinking without much awareness.”

I will attempt to add something of substance to what Rakhem lays out in his writing. There are a few things he brings up that I think are worth looking deeper into.

Chancellor Williams, in his book The Destruction of Black Civilization, said these words:

“ONE OF THE MOST TROUBLESOME FACTS IN THE STUDY OF history over very long periods of times, such as several centuries, is that a truth may slowly emerge, period after period, until it clearly forms itself into a truth impregnable, a fact nowhere explicitly stated as such in the mass of data covered. As one continues to move on down through the centuries, countless events and situations may continue to make supporting additions to what has already been established as an unassailable fact. Yet that truth may be so repugnant, so utterly void of any rational or intelligent reason for its existence that hardly any historian would wish to state it in his work.

Yet I did just that when I wrote that the whites are the implacable foe, the traditional and everlasting enemy of the Blacks. The compelling reason for publicly putting this declaration in its historical context is clear: The necessary re-education of Blacks and a possible solution of racial crises can begin, strangely enough, only when Blacks fully realize this central fact in their lives: The white man is their Bitter Enemy. For this is not the ranting of wild-eyed militancy, but the calm and unmistakable verdict of several thousand years of documented history.”

Dr. Frances Cress Welsing, in her works The Cress Theory of Color Confrontation and Racism as well as The Isis Papers: The Keys To The Colors, developed a theory behind the ultimate root of racism/white supremacy. Her position was and is that white people are a product of genetic mutation from the original black people of the earth. White people, some on a conscious level but most on an unconscious level, see their minority status in the world (11 people of color to every 1 white person) from a position of fear. They are afraid of the genetic annihilation they could experience if they mixed freely with the people of the world because of their recessive genes. So they operate in the world from a spirit of aggression and domineering rooted in their fear of what could happen if they allow others to get the upper hand on them.

Rakhem Seku beautifully points out the correlation between the Kemetic myth of Ausar and Auset, and the history and present condition of African people in the United States. I would like to mention another ancient story involving Egypt that has some metaphysical relevance for my people. In the Bible, the book of Exodus, Chapter 1, Pharaoh states this about the Children of Israel:

‘Come, let us deal wisely with them, or else they will multiply and in the event of war, they will also join themselves to those who hate us, and fight against us and depart from the land.’…Then the king of Egypt spoke to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shiphrah and the other was named Puah; and he said, ‘When you are helping the Hebrew women to give birth and see them upon the birthstool, if it is a son, then you shall put him to death; but if it is a daughter, then she shall live.'”

This Biblical story has several parallels with the actual history of the American Africans. The Establishment is deathly afraid of us rising up to do unto them what they have done to us for centuries. So they take extra precautions to make sure that we don’t get too close to any of our indigenous cousins in the world who might also have a legitimate beef with them. And they favor our women over our men as a way to reduce the potential threat of Black manhood.

Speaking of Black manhood, here is a picture of the Roman God Mithra slaying a bull. This image was used in temples all over the Roman Empire where the secret fraternal cult of Mithra had their gatherings. The black bull was used frequently in the ancient world to symbolize the Black God. This was true for the people of Kemet and Babylon and Canaan and many others. The bull was honored as a representation of the Creator because of its strength and virility. Notice the scorpion with Mithra going to attack the genitalia of the bull.

mithra

I also want to bring attention to two images of the Kemetic god, Min, who was always represented with the supremely erect penis. Min’s penis, like the bull, represented his potency, his creative power, his ability to produce new life. When Europeans began to explore Egypt in depth, these images of Min brought something up in them that compelled them to vandalize the carvings of Min. The picture on the right is one of just many that you can find in Egypt where obvious attempts have been made to remove or obscure the erect penis of Min by the Europeans.

min erect    min vandals

All of this relates to the toll that racism has on black relationships. All of this is a completely logical and understandable response to the historical position of white people in the world. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad taught us that the way in which a thing is created determines its nature and function. I don’t have space here to go deep into the origin of white people. See Frances Cress Welsing’s work along with that of Paul Guthrie and Michael Bradley for details of how the harsh climate and extreme violence of early European life contributed to the cultural habits of Caucasian people.

This fear of Black manhood has consequences for black men as well as black women. Rakhem addresses that topic by saying:

“…black women are not directly attacked and seen as a threat in the same way black men are under the system of IR.  A woman is metaphorized as water and is therefore able to adjust, change, and flow with her environment.  She can become invisible (i.e. vapor) at times and take the form of what the environment demands she become to survive.

However, her indirect impact from IR is greater than the indirect impact black men would experience and that’s where the equation balances.  The things that affect a man won’t necessarily have the same effect on a woman and vice versa.  For example, a woman’s son being killed will affect her much deeper than his father because of her emotional connection to a child she carried in her womb for nine months.  Her witnessing her husband beat down, tortured, or failing affects her deeply.  This fact cannot be underestimated and to not recognize it equates to not understanding and recognizing the feminine.

Lastly, you can’t just be a woman in the midst of IR because a woman in her feminine is a goddess and powerful and therefore seen as a threat.  We all too often see women adjust their behavior, look, belief system, or inner desires to fit the limits and demands of IR.  It’s precisely the behavior that many men complain about of women that are a direct result of IR.  What you may be judging as a woman being a woman may be further from the truth.  The truth is both the IR power structure and black men are fearful of any black women fully expressing her womanhood because it would mean the end of the current paradigm as we know it and not many are ready for that kind of change, including black men.  At the end of the day, she is feared by all.” 

Now let’s look at how this played out in the past 50 years. Right now, there are more Black children being raised by a single parent than there were during slavery. Let me say that again. There are more Black children being raised by a single parent right now than there were during slavery. Slavery was the time when we were routinely traded from plantation to plantation as property, and families were often intentionally broken up so the children wouldn’t get too much of a connection with their African roots. But despite that history, there are more of our children being raised by a single parent now than there were under that system. How did that happen?

Let’s run through some history real quick. World War II ended in 1945. That war ended up being very good for the United States economically. The decade after World War II, the 1950’s, is often described as one of the most prosperous economic times in American history. With victory under their belts and money in their pockets, Americans in the 1950s could optimistically pursue the American dream. Of course, racism prevented black people and black war veterans from benefiting equally from this new American abundance. But we still got some fringe benefits.

Many American Africans (this is my preferred term for Black America) got new industrial jobs and/or moved to new cities and experienced financial gains that they had never thought possible before. This ability to provide a home for your family had a humongous impact on the psyche of many of our men at that time.

The spoils of war had a part to play in the rise of the Civil Rights Movement in the mid 1950’s. Households that were no longer worrying about where their next meal would come from were able to free up some space in their minds to consider their lack of social justice and equality. Our communities were able to support freedom fighters who traveled around the country organizing us to fight for voting rights and the various issues of the day. The Establishment took notice of this.

The 1970’s saw several significant things happen to us at the same time. One thing is that many of the heroes of Black masculinity were killed or imprisoned. Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Fred Hampton, Geronimo Pratt, Mutulu Shakur, the list goes on. There were less heroes for the children growing up in the 70’s and 80’s than there had been for the generation before them.

Also at that time heroin swept through the American African communities. Many Vietnam War veterans came home hooked on heroin and more opium started coming into the U.S. from Thailand and Burma and Vietnam.

Simultaneously, jobs started leaving the inner cities. The industrial jobs that had sustained so many Black households for the previous 30 years started to disappear and head overseas. Less ability to earn money, less heroes to look up to, more access to drugs, bad combination for men in our community in the 70’s.

Also in the 1970’s we started to see women entering the workforce in record numbers due to the successes of the women’s liberation movement. Laws were changed that made it possible for women to compete (somewhat) equally for jobs with men. But the unintended consequence of this was that there are less jobs available due to outsourcing and offshoring, more people competing for jobs; supply and demand made it possible for salaries to decrease throughout the country. This impacted inner city communities disproportionately because they had been the location for most of the jobs that were sent overseas.

At the same time, many families who were impacted by these changes had to go on welfare in order to get by. One of the peculiarities of welfare is that it focused on supporting mothers and it was mandated that if a man was present in the house then the mother was ineligible for government assistance. So there was incentive for families to keep the father out of the house in order to receive the government aid they so desperately needed. That phenomenon combined with everything mentioned before led to a lot of 1970’s households not having a man present.

The early 1980’s saw the rise of the War on Drugs. In previous installments of Complete Constructive Change we’ve dealt with how the War on Drugs was and is really a war against Black men. The War on Drugs and the criminal justice system surrounding it is the New Jim Crow, as Michelle Alexander puts it. This led to record numbers of Black men being in prison, which has continued until this day.

Rakhem Seku raises this point:

“I agree with the point of a man working for another man feminizing him, but ONLY when that work is not his passion. I’ve witnessed both sides where men slowly lose testosterone over time messing with a job to just pay the bills.  It’s sad to watch.  That has less to do with IR and more to do with a man being willing to be in his WARRIOR archetype and make his OWN way in the world.  The same thing happens to boys going to public school – it sucks the life force right out of them.  Again, women are better able to adjust to both of these scenarios, but it affects them as well.  Women often have to get deep into their masculine energy to get up and go to these jobs every single day.  What’s the result?  A loss in magnetism and ability to attract the partners and life they desire.  An inability to tap into their orgasmic potential and feel the heights of pleasure.  Increased stress levels and the accompanying illnesses.”

Speaking of boys in public school, consider this:

“While the nation’s graduation rate, including that of black and Latino males, has continued to grow, the gap between black males and their white peers has widened, according to a new report released Wednesday by the Schott Foundation for Public Education.

The report, “Black Lives Matter: The Schott 50 State Report on Public Education and Black Males,” is the fifth such study the foundation has released on the state of black males in public education.

Since the last report in 2012, the gap between the four-year graduation rate for black males and white males widened from 19 points in the 2009-10 school year to 21 points in the 2012-13 year.  For Latinos, the gap shrunk to 15 points from 20 during that same period, according to the report. 

The national graduation rate for black males was 59 percent, 65 percent for Latinos, and 80 percent for white males for the 2012-13 school year, according to the report. Particularly striking was Detroit where only 20 percent of black males graduated on time in the 2011-12.” 

Less industrial jobs available means that a higher level of education is needed to compete in the job market. Only half of Black boys graduate from high school, let alone getting a college degree. That is problematic. 67% of American African children in 2013 lived in a single parent household. 67%. All middle class and working class people are aware that many arguments in relationships have something to do with money. How are we supposed to make money if we don’t finish high school?

Women making the money. Women buckling under the stress of having to be the masculine and the feminine. Men feeling emasculated by their lack of ability to make shit happen. Men going to prison when they try the only way they can think of to create some money. None of this is by accident. All of this is directly related to Mithra and Min and the Cress Theory. This is war. This is the society and culture that we live in declaring war on us and us being too unconscious to see it for what it is.

Rakhem concludes his post by giving his bottom line:

I’m hoping that all people can take an empowered perspective on race and racism.  The truth is, a change in thinking is required to end it and heal all peoples.  It’s the same change in thinking for everyone believe it or not.  We must understand that a Progressive Way of Thinking is the Answer We all Seek:

—We individually and collectively create our lives

—The purpose of relating and interacting with one another is growth

—There are no victims in life

—There are no villains in life

—There is no need to or no way to drop out of any situation in life

—There is no need to or no way to cop out of any situation in life

—There is no need to feel shame for who you are or to you judge your past actions

—There is no need to blame others for who they are or to judge their actions

I completely agree with all of these points. This is a composite of “the highest wisdom of our Ancestors”, as Rakhem puts it. The white aggression toward African people and African manhood doesn’t make them villains, it doesn’t make them bad. It just makes them people who are acting in their own self interest. Their self interest requires them to constantly seek the upper hand, according to their way of processing the world.

What does our sense of self preservation prompt us to do in response? A living being that doesn’t have any impulse to protect itself (e.g. immune system) will surely die. As a community we seem to be functioning like a person with an autoimmune disease or a cancer. We are attacking ourselves. Rakhem Seku says:

“IR takes away role models, reduces opportunity to have self esteem, and paints a picture of black men as being lesser than other men on the planet.  At the least these factors can make it tough for a black male to become a man.  At the most it can completely break him such that he embraces his negative masculine nature (i.e. the Dark Side) or his feminine at the expense of his masculine.”

The 5th leading cause of death for American African males is homicide. 4.6% of all of our males who die, die from homicide. In 2013, that added up to 2, 491 total Black murder victims, 93% of whom were killed by another Black person. These deaths are a result of men embracing their negative masculine nature. This is related to the social media phenomenon of

niggabelikebitchesbelike

On the deepest of levels, we really don’t like each other, and we don’t like ourselves. We are suffering from self hatred, 150 years removed from the end of physical slavery. We have internalized western society’s hatred of Blackness. That is at the root of our difficulties in relating to one another. Correcting that is the only thing that can restore our relationships and our families and our communities. It is not anyone else’s responsibility to fix this for us; only we can do this for us.

Only a very foolish army would think that they can win a war by firing at each other. Yet that is the strategy that we are deploying in the war that we are engaged in everyday. It is time for us to close ranks, move closer together, and support one another; as a matter of necessity. With everything that we are up against living in the belly of the beast, behind enemy lines, in the world capital of the system designed to keep us in check, we don’t have a second to lose with battling one another.

This is why I promote Tantra so adamantly in my community. Our survival depends on us learning how to love one another and heal one another from ALL of the unhealthy crap we have internalized over the years. We have to give white people back their ideology, and especially their anti-Black hatred. It’s not doing us any good.

The more that we can heal each other in our romantic relationships, the more we’ll be able to handle interpersonal conflicts without resorting to violence, the more we’ll be able to find ways to create wealth together, the more we’ll be inspired to take ownership over making our communities decent places to live. That starts with us not feeling like we’re under siege and walking around carrying undue levels of stress. Having healing relationships with one another can get us on that road.

Having a few less “real-world” problems will make it more feasible for us to wrap our minds around the final words of Rakhem’s post:

“We must understand the highest wisdom from our ancestors:

OMNIPRESENCE: We are one with all things; although, we appear to be separate and disconnected

OMNIPOTENCE: We have the power to achieve our purpose, passion, and vision in life.  Always.  Without Exception.

OMNISCIENCE: No thing has a quality in an of itself and everything can and will be known to us.”

Many of us just ain’t ready for that level of positive thinking. But our actual survival in this world depends on us getting ready.

The Unfulfilled Orgasmic Potential of Today’s Woman

hysteria

Soundtrack: R. Kelly “The Greatest Sex”

Expanded Sexual Response (ESR). Ever heard of it? It’s something that scientists have been formally studying for a few years now. They define it as “being able to attain long lasting and/or prolonged and/or multiple and/or sustained orgasms and/or status orgasmus that lasted longer and more intense than the classical orgasm patterns defined in the literature”. They have written in their findings:

“During our detailed preliminary survey to investigate the claimed ESR phenomenon in some particular women, we also investigated the subjective feelings and altered states of consciousness (ASC) during very intense and prolonged orgasms in the women with ESR. During our preliminary survey 72 types of different subjective feelings and ASC patterns were described in the 47 women with ESR. Among these were: depersonalization; out of body experience; flying; dying feeling (petit morte); ecstasy; rapture; explosion feeling; quivering, earthquake feeling; flooding; absorbing; spurting; blessed; shuddering; intense love; unreal; surreal; voyage to nature; seeing light flashes, color flashes, geometric shapes, figures; peacefulness; physical and spiritual warmth; loss of control; spreading; flowing; mystical experience; unification with the partner and/or the universe; de ja vu; crying etc…Pudental, pelvic, hypogastric and vagus nerves play major roles in the development of single or ESR orgasms, as well as at least two oxytocin pathways may contribute to it. In blended, ESR orgasms and/or status orgasmus, more than one ‘orgasm reflex arch pathway’ may trigger the orgasm at the same time, while other pathways play a supplementary role.” 

What this basically means is that women have been shown, under the weight of scientific scrutiny, to be able to have orgasms that last for 30 minutes or more, and when this happens they are having altered states of consciousness similar to being high on mushrooms or LSD or Molly.

Why are most women not having anything near this kind of experience? Let’s talk about it. Let’s look at the history of the female orgasm. Lord Acton was only repeating what everyone knew in 1875 when he declared, “The majority of women, happily for them and for society, are not very much troubled with sexual feeling of any kind.” You can draw a straight line between that and the whirlwind of social media talk surrounding Amber Rose’s planned #SlutWalk.

Women are not supposed to enjoy sex as much as men. Women are not supposed to have sexual urges. Women are there simply to satisfy the sexual urges of their husbands. Women have to put up with sex in order to keep their husbands happy and have children. This was the dominant belief in western society for as far back as the mind’s eye can see. And although things have changed ever so slightly in recent decades, slut shaming is still very much a Thing.

This belief was behind the psychological diagnosis of “hysteria” that so many women received in the 1800’s and early 1900’s. Women of this era complained to doctors of anxiety, sleeplessness, irritability, nervousness, erotic fantasies, feelings of heaviness in the lower abdomen, and wetness between the leg. Many 21st century women could easily recognize this as sexual frustration but back then this syndrome became known as “hysteria,” from the Greek for uterus.

Documented complaints of female hysteria date back to the 13th century. Doctors of that era understood that women had libidos and advised them to relieve their sexual frustration with dildos. In the 16th century, physicians told married hysterics to encourage their husbands’ lust. For hysteria unrelieved by husbandly lust, and for widows, and single and unhappily married women, doctors advised horseback riding, which, for some, provided enough clitoral stimulation to trigger orgasm. But riding provided many women little relief, and by the 17th century, dildos were less of an option because the arbiters of decency had succeeded in demonizing masturbation as “self-abuse.”

Fortunately, a reliable, socially acceptable treatment appeared. Doctors or midwives applied vegetable oil to women’s genitals and then massaged them with one or two fingers inside and the heel of the hand pressing against the clitoris. With this type of massage, women had orgasms and experienced sudden, dramatic relief from hysteria. But doctors didn’t call women’s climaxes orgasms. They called them “paroxysms” (a sudden attack or violent expression of a particular emotion or activity) because everyone knew that women were incapable of sexual feelings, so they could not possibly experience orgasm.

Unfortunately for doctors, hysteria treatment had a downside—achy, cramped fingers and hands from all that massage. In medical journals of the early 1800’s, doctors lamented that treating hysterics taxed their physical endurance. Chronic hand fatigue meant that some doctors had trouble maintaining the treatment long enough to produce the desired (and lucrative) result.

Necessity sometimes being the mother of invention, physicians began experimenting with mechanical substitutes for their hands. They tried a number of genital massage contraptions, among them water-driven gadgets (the forerunners of today’s shower massage devices), and pumping, steam-driven dildos. But the machines were cumbersome, messy, often unreliable, and sometimes dangerous.

Then in the late nineteenth century, electricity entered American homes, and the first electric appliances appeared: the electric fan, toaster, tea kettle, and sewing machine. In 1880, more than a decade before the invention of the electric iron and vacuum cleaner, an enterprising English physician, Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville, patented the electromechanical vibrator.

Fast forward to 2015, for most people, knowledge of female orgasm is limited to the various ways to stimulate the clitoris. The general public’s knowledge of what is possible, men and women, is extremely low. We know only what porn and our uninformed friends have told us.

The pleasure range and orgasmic potential of women is immense. Some women tremble and shake in pleasure from nearly every part of their body being touched, some orgasm from their Achilles heel being massaged, or from a hand pressing their lower belly, some orgasm from their ears or breasts being licked, some orgasm the moment they are penetrated, some women orgasm solely by contracting their vaginal muscles, some orgasm with no physical stimulation, just by focusing their awareness on their sexual energy, magnifying it and pulling it up. Some women orgasm while meditating, practicing Hatha yoga, singing devotional songs, or looking at the sunset. Some women orgasm when they go on a roller coaster or bungee jumping. Some women orgasm when their partner tells them he loves them, or when a powerful man holds their hands and looks them deep in the eyes with love and presence. Some women don’t experience an actual orgasm, but rather go into a state of Bliss within moments of penetration.

And yet, most women don’t experience whole-body orgasms during penetrative love-making, many can only orgasm by masturbation, and some don’t experience orgasms at all. Some women don’t even consider the subject of orgasm because they don’t  experience any pleasure at all during sex.

Modern science has measured and quantified a number of symptoms and conditions that occur while a woman is being aroused and when she’s orgasming. Arousal includes increased muscular tension, increased heart beat and respiration rate and depth, increased blood flow to the genitals, which causes the swelling of the clitoris, labia (outer and inner lips around the entrance of the yoni/vagina/pussy), and the vaginal walls; “ballooning” of the deep vagina and mild shifting of the cervix and womb towards the back of the body and slightly upwards, secretion of lubrication fluid from the walls of the vagina; increased sensitivity of the nipples and other erogenous zones.

As orgasm becomes imminent, the outer third of the vagina tightens and narrows, while overall the vagina lengthens and dilates and also becomes congested from engorged soft tissue; the nipples become erect. The main symptom of a female orgasm according to modern science is a series of involuntary contractions or pulsations of the pelvic floor (also known as the PC muscle or pubococygeus muscle), the vaginal walls, uterus and anus. However, some of the orgasm symptoms occur to some extent also before and after the actual “peak” of an orgasm.

What is the difference between the woman who never has an orgasm and the woman who has more than she count? Relaxation. For women, sex is first and foremost about turning off the “thinking” button and turning on the “feeling” button. You can’t think and feel at the same time. These processes come from two different parts of the brain that don’t work well together. If you are feeling something intensely, whether it be pain from an injury or extreme hunger pangs or a need to urinate or the pleasure of your lover kissing your neck, it becomes almost impossible to do something like study for a test at the same time. The reverse is also true. If your brain is focused on thinking about something, then your sensitivity to feeling things is seriously dampened.

The main idea or attitude that can improve the pleasure range and orgasmic experience of every woman is the following:

Every pleasurable sensation, every small wave of pleasure, is a mini orgasm, because for a brief moment, there is slightly decreased mind activity, decreased sense of personal “I”, and increased present moment awareness,  focus, surrender, dissolution and dissolving into the sensation.

Imagine someone is touching your exposed back with a feather, or blowing air gently on your neck, or tickling you, or hugging you, or gently caressing your face or hair, or moving his hands along the side of your torso, or touching your nipple, or gently brushing the back of his hand against your pubic hair.  All these sensations are portals into pleasure, then into greater pleasure, then into actual orgasm. At the moment of orgasm, for that (usually) brief moment, you become One with the universe. You lose your sense of being separate from anything else, time stands still and you are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. You are simply feeling.

Most men and women tend to view an orgasm as a single separate discernible peak aka “The Big O”, or, at best, a few peaks of orgasm, known as a multiple orgasm. The problem is that they miss out on a range of sensations, pleasure and orgasmic experiences. By changing your attitude and enjoying the inherent joy and pleasure in every moment and every kind of touch or sexual interaction, a woman can gradually experience deeper and greater and more varied kinds of pleasure and orgasmic states, and then an expanded awareness and higher states of consciousness.

In quality, every pleasurable sensation is a mini orgasm, an orgasmic moment, and the “quantity” of the pleasure can increase as you bring your attention into it. Learn to focus your attention on every pleasurable sensation, to bring awareness into every part of your body which feels pleasurable, to go deeper into the sensation, deeper into the present moment, and then to intensify these sensations and pleasure. That can’t happen if you’re thinking about whether you look fat, or is he gonna call you the next day, or any of that other shit that women obsess about. Turn off the thinking and turn on the feeling.

The other part of this picture, for most people at least, is the role of the man. Women need time; time to get warmed up, time to get out of the mind and into the body, time for the clitoris and labia to swell, time for the G-spot to descend down into the vaginal canal. Women can’t fully feel everything they are capable of feeling until all the machinery has gotten warmed up. Because men aren’t trained to appreciate this, most men are over and done before the woman is even ready to get started. Women are not experiencing the fullness of their orgasmic potential because both men and women are ignorant of what women need during sex.

Men have to be taught how to appreciate what they can receive from a fully sexually fulfilled woman. This is where those altered states of consciousness (ASC) come in. The vagina is directly connected to the brain in what I call the Brain-Vagina System. The cervix in the vagina is connected to the spine by the pelvic neural network. The spine leads directly to the brain stem. The reason that expanded sexual response (ESR) leads to ASC is because the nervous system is stimulated in very interesting ways. Usually unused parts of the brain are opened up and very cool chemicals get released.

There is a substance called DMT, produced in the pineal gland in the brain, which can also be found in at least 60 species of plants worldwide. One of these plants is ayahuasca which is popularly used in rituals to induce trance states and receive messages from other realms of reality. Well, you don’t need to drink a nasty brew or smoke anything to get DMT, your brain can make it by having awesome sex. Women who spend some time in ESR can get access to information that wasn’t available by other means. If you want to know how to get a business off the ground, how to solve a complex math problem, or any other mental hurdle, the answer just might be found in a woman’s orgasm.

Along with that, ESR produces the exact opposite of the hysteria women go into from sexual frustration. Deep calm, deep relaxation, deep contentment means no more of the incessant nagging that keeps so many men from wanting to go home after work. A woman who is truly sexually fulfilled is able to trust that everything will be alright. Everyone wins when the woman gets what she needs, above and beyond what she thinks that she wants.

This means men learning how to truly do foreplay, as well as learning how to delay ejaculation for up to an hour or more. Foreplay means so much more than just licking or fingering a woman’s so-called erogenous zones. I say so-called because a woman’s entire body becomes orgasmic once she is opened up properly. I don’t have the space to go into details about foreplay here but I think it is extremely important for men to learn how to do energy projection as well as yoni massage.

By energy projection, I mean bringing your energy field (aura) into contact with another person’s energy field or aura, and touching each other without contacting the skin. Men and women can be brought to orgasm in this way, without physically touching at all; and it is extremely healthy for the mind and body. Yoni massage is a more healing version of what is commonly called “finger fucking”. Yoni massage involves truly massaging the whole pubic region, inside and outside. It can undo damage done to the anatomy of the vagina by chronic stress from living in a world that is anti-woman in so many ways.

At least an hour of various kinds of foreplay combined with at least an hour of penetration is a good recipe for ESR and ASC. Women and men who experience the glory of truly fulfilling sex will never want to go back to the old way of doing things. It’s time for a real sexual revolution. Clitoral orgasm should be known as the “little girls” orgasm. Any person with a clitoris can orgasm from rubbing it against something. Sexual maturity comes with knowing that that is only a small fraction of what sex can and should be. It’s time to demand more from ourselves.